Unfortunately, this is not a review of Stieg Larsson’s book nor is this an article about the 2011 movie starring Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara. No. The title simply refers to the theme of a shoot inspired by the movie. My dear friends CJ and Eman are big fans of the movie and they wanted to do a shoot in tribute to the movie. They asked me to model and I was happy to oblige. Eman photographed and edited the photos. CJ came up with the theme and directed the shoot. I , on other hand , was asked to bring clothes and accessories befitting the theme.
Some fifteen years ago, I’d never be caught dead doing this. I was never comfortable having my pictures taken. For those obligatory photos, I’m either frowning or smiling nervously. I was never confident in front of the camera. Hilariously, even until now. But it’s a state of mind I’ve learned to put behind curtains when deemed necessary, which is evidenced by the numerous outfit shots I’ve had taken since… hah! And yes, I do cringe at my photos most of the time, but I try to console myself with the thinking that people have different preferences, tastes, and perception. That’s me hoping that people won’t find my photos repulsive (as I do). Oh! For the record, I’m not referring to the photos in this post or any of the photos that Eman took. I actually love how Eman make me look nice in his photos. But I was referring to other random photos taken since my teen years,.
So, why don’t I just remove/delete or not post the photos if I don’t like the way I look in them? I’ve considered that. But, after a long and thoughtful consideration decided against it as an ode to imperfection. It’s such a cliche to say “nobody’s perfect.” But I forget. It’s only human to always want to look/seem perfect.
At some point or another, I’ve tried so hard to be the best person I can be. But, hey, really? Reality is, you can’t please everyone and you’ll only end up being duped yourself. You put so much effort into pleasing others- don’t do this and that, should do this and that, etc. You’re very careful to be always pleasant and all, but others would always find fault in you, look for flaws. So, what gives? You end up hating yourself, hating life, which is so wrong because life is meant to be lived and appreciated, lived to the fullest. So, how do I handle criticism? With as much grace as I can muster.
People are given to make assumptions about other people and certain circumstances or situations. But it’s when those people begin to consider their assumptions as facts, pass it on to another person, that gossip goes out of hand. And, yes, of course there are others who simply make things up just because a) they want to look good; b) they lust after what that person they are trying to ruin has.
And, in case you’re wondering, yes, I’ve been a victim of damaging gossips a few times in my life. I was naive and very trusting for my own good, and was complacent to boot! I’ve never cared much for gossip. I still don’t. I’m not inclined to listen to or make gossip. And that is why when the gossip is about me, I’m usually last person to learn about it. Often, I learn about the gossip too late, like a year or so after, leaving me with very little or no chance to disprove the gossip.
Once, I brought this up with some person. He asked, “Why are you bothered at all? Is it because you’re guilty?” No. Absolutely not. It’s just not fair, is all. I grew up with the idea that if you don’t do others wrong, no wrong will come to you. SO NAIVE.
Anyway, mistakes and regrets are all part of life. It’s how we deal with them that dictates how our lives unfold. Live and let live.
Such is life… Jette